Your porch, Humans? We fear you are mistaken–this is a Members Only Cat Club.
Say what? You want to join?
We regret to inform you that membership is by invitation only and the fees are more tuna cans than you can afford.
–Finnegan, Darth Vader, and Phelps
Excuse me, but can’t a handsome fellow launder his white dress socks in private without the intrusions of cellphone wielding groupies?
Sigh… The sacrifices of celebrity and undeniably good looks.
Frisbee, check. Tug, check. Wrestling, check. Squirrel Chase, check and double check.
You know it’s been a good, hard workout when you collapse like a Meowie afterwards.
Meowie-Inspired Basic Yoga, check.
Stay above politics. It’s the only safe, sensible place to be.
You know she loves you when she wraps her front paw around your foreleg.
You know she really loves you when she does the same thing with her tail.
Ever wake up only to feel that there is a large, uninvited presence behind you? You could be right or you could still be dreaming.
Either way, it’s probably best just to fall back asleep and hope that it doesn’t snore or slobber.
There’s more than one way to workout on a treadmill.
For example, you can use the console for a good stretch.
You can use the arms as a jungle gym to increase your strength and balance.
Don’t worry if you get tangled up now and again.
It takes time to master new fitness routines.
Are the ever present cellphone-wielding paparazzi taking yet another picture of you in yet another basket? Don’t be a cliche. Don’t be that guy who’s always in a basket.
Squeeze your eyes shut. No one takes a good picture of a celebrity squinting. No way the paparazzi can sell this shot to the Feline tabloids.
Playing around in your yard is fun and all, but nothing beats a good run in the Puppy Park on your new titanium knee.
It’s one thing to be hot.
It’s another thing entirely to smolder.