Annoying

You are annoying me, Human Mommy.

The fact that you have no idea why you are annoying me exacerbates my annoyance.

—Luna

Toll

It doesn’t matter if you’re on Guard Cat duty, Finn.

You are not allowed to come up the stairs without paying the Stair Toll.

That’s the rule.

—Luna and Lily

Homecoming

We have different ways of greeting Human Mommy when she returns home after a prolonged, unauthorized absence.

The Woofies throw her a party, bestowing kisses and cuddles and licks as if they’re happy to see her.

It’s kind of pathetic.

We Cats, on the other Paw, pointedly ignore her, regardless of how often she trills our names or makes kissy-kissy noises in our direction.

This is Cold Tail, arctic in fact, and it’s exactly what Human Mommy deserves.

—Lily

How Things Change

I used to be much larger than my daughter, the Tiger Queen.

Truth be told, I sometimes miss my days of physical dominance.

Still, no one has ever dared nor ever shall dare to challenge my overall dominance.

—Amber, the Tortie Empress

Cat About Town

My Human Mommy calls me a chonk. Fortunately, a diet is most definitely not in the cards.

As a Cat-About-Town, I know all the best dining establishments.

—Grant, Guest Contributor

Whiff

Take a whiff of that fresh air, Little Xena. Isn’t it just lovely?

Oh yes, Papa Cosmo! It smells like spring and adventure!

—Xena

Travel

What’s that, Human Daddy?

Human Mommy won’t be home until next week?!

Tell her to expect arctic tail upon her return.

—Darth Vader

Good Program

Good program choice, Humans.

Kind of slow moving, but still good.

—Xena

Lounging

Here we are, two handsome gentleman…

…lounging in the fresh Spring breeze.

—Darth Vader and Cosmo

Steak

Looks like Grammy Cat and Grampaw served you a thick, juicy steak upon your arrival.

You know who else likes steak?

Me! I LOVE steak and I’m really struggling to understand why I wasn’t invited to partake of this fabulous feast.

—Cosmo