Don’t worry, little daffodil. I will keep you safe from the trampling paws of the clumsy Woofies.
Lost something, Humans, like the pair of scissors you just had?
Don’t ask us Cats. It’s not our job to keep track of your stuff.
Don’t be jealous!
It takes an enormous amount of time, effort and licks to look this good.
Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Catitude constitutes the other tenth.
Kittentude, while adorable, can’t displace a full-grown Cat.
Humans, if it’s not good for me, how can it be good for you?
C’mon… Give a Dog a slice.
Feeling conflicted about getting out of bed and going to work, Human Mommy?
Don’t worry–your departure will not disturb our collective snooze too much.
–Luna, Lily and Darth Vader
Human Mommy, you spend ages in the bathroom in the morning, applying various creams, powders, and Cat-Knows-What to your huge, naked face, in a futile attempt to appear “younger.”
May I make a suggestion?
Just grow out your face fur to cover your wrinkles.
Seriously, look at me. I’m positively ageless.
No matter how good the Meowy treats smell, don’t muscle the Meowies out of the way to get some. Never forget that the Meowies have claws.
–Cosmo and Stella
Valentines Day is tomorrow, Gentlemen! Don’t forget to get your ladies the flowers, the card, the heart-shaped box of catnip, and a good back rub.
–Luna and Lily
Sometimes, your girlfriend will ask you tricky questions like “Do I look good in my new collar?” Don’t just bark out the first thing that pops into your head. For example, don’t tell her that she makes for a pretty lamp. Don’t tell her that she could probably tap into some satellite radio stations if she tilts her head just so. Take your time. Think it through. Chew on a bone if necessary to buy time.
This is a tricky question and how you answer it will determine how your girlfriend treats you for the rest of the day if not longer.