If you are a Woofie, you may need to wait for the Humans to offer you a pillow.
If you’re a Cat, you simply take possession of what’s rightfully yours.
This sheet is still whitish, but I am definitely darkening it with my midnight fur.
Just a few more weeks and it will be perfect.
What’s that? My Humans will toss it in the wash before I achieve my aesthetic vision of a sheet that glistens like the Hope Diamond?
Pffft… If they haven’t done it yet, what makes you think they’ll do it soon?
Sure, Kitties, Humans are there to serve us. We all know that.
Still, you can demonstrate your magnamity by lending a helping paw when the Humans try, ineffectually, to perform routine household tasks, like changing the sheets on our bed.
Silly Humans! How on earth do they expect us Kitties to sleep soundly and awaken refreshed without a fine sheen of feline fur on our sheets?
Are your Humans trying to enforce an unreasonable rule* like “no furry children in the bedroom while the Humans are away at the mysterious place they call ‘work’?”
Time to deploy the Puppy Eyes and a grand Puppy Yawn.
–Stella and Cosmo
*This rule is obviously unreasonable because we have nothing good to lounge on in our living room given that we have eaten all of our futon mattresses, our couch, a comfy side chair and a footrest.