House Panther

Human Mommy calls me a House Panther.

Human Mommy is nearsighted and lacks a sense of scale.

I’m a full-size Panther, no qualifier required.

–Darth Vader


Strange Question

No, you may not rest your gigantic head on my pillow, Human Mommy.

What a strange question!

Why would you even ask?

–Darth Vader


This sheet is still whitish, but I am definitely darkening it with my midnight fur.

Just a few more weeks and it will be perfect.

What’s that? My Humans will toss it in the wash before I achieve my aesthetic vision of a sheet that glistens like the Hope Diamond?

Pffft… If they haven’t done it yet, what makes you think they’ll do it soon?

–Darth Vader