I killed the Creepy Crawly, Human Mommy!
I even refrained from eating it so that you could see my good work.
Where’s my reward?
P.S. I accept payment in Tuna (packed in water not oil), Catnip (the fancy organic kind not the supermarket rotgut), Cream (full fat NOT fat free) and bitcoin.
Here at sevencatsandcounting, we are not above paid product placements and sponsorship deals.
The keyword here is “paid.”
Hey, Target, you owe me 10 jars of Smarty Cat Organic Catnip for this post.
Oh, Catnip, my old friend, what have we done this time? More importantly, where are those Woofies? My head is about to burst and I have a hungover crimp in my tail. I need hair of the Woofies, stat.
It’s not ideal, but once you’ve hit the Friday night ‘Nip a little (a lot) too hard, anywhere at all will do for a catnap.
Got a hangover after downing too many ‘Niparitas last night?
Follow your Big Sister Lily’s lead. She knows how to sleep this off like it never even happened.
Valentines Day is tomorrow, Gentlemen! Don’t forget to get your ladies the flowers, the card, the heart-shaped box of catnip, and a good back rub.
–Luna and Lily
Did you think you could participate in the Meowies’ Friday Night Catnip-fueled celebration because you are much bigger than the Meowies and therefore should have a much higher capacity for the ‘nip?
That was a mistake.
There are not enough hairs on your whole body to make up for last night’s miscalculation.
Sometimes it feels like no one listens to you.
For example, if I had even a pinch of catnip for every time I told Human Mommy that cups belong on the top rack of the dishwasher, I’d have a such a nice buzz that I might even stop fretting over the rinse cycle.
If your Human Mommy is enjoying a glass or two of vino after a stressful day at the mysterious place she calls “work,” you are well within your rights to request a hit or two of nip.
It’s only fair.
Did you find yourself sleeping in your bathroom this morning with absolutely no idea how you got there?
It’s the price you pay for a wild Friday night.
Now pull yourself together and stalk the Dogs.
Their hairs are great for hangovers.