Uh oh! This cardboard box I launched myself into is much too narrow and too deep. I’m stuck.
I’ll save you, Luna! What do you want me to do? Topple your box prison, gnaw through the cardboard or a combination of both?
–Luna and Cosmo
Woofies grow up too fast. That is why it is essential to train them when they are relatively small, preferably smaller than you, in order to instill a proper respect for Cats in them.
In the Woofies’ imagination, I will always be a Lion.
The Woofies are big enough, Humans, bigger than enough, too big, really, more equine than canine.
They’ve obviously had enough to eat. Why do you keep buying them more cans of wet food?
For the Love of Cat, how big do you want them to get?! Clydesdale-size??!!
Sometimes Humans say nonsensical things. For example, Human Mommy just called us a pair of lovebugs. We understand “pair” and we understand “love,” but what about us is bug-like?
–Cosmo and Stella
Well, for one thing, Woofies, you “bug” me all the time, especially you, Cosmo, especially you.
Happy Father’s Day, Human Daddy!
You’re the best Daddy ever!
You’re just as much fun as the day we met.
Rub my tummy? Please, Humans, rub my tummy!
Oooh! Thank you! That feels sooo good!
I’d purr if I could.
Nothing says “I love you, Human Daddy” like a big, old-fashioned hug.
I’ll admit that chilling out in an empty carton that used to contain canned Woofie food may not be the wisest option, particularly if the Woofies have not inhaled their evening feast yet.
That said, don’t think that I’m a trendy, Raw Food alternative to cans.
Get any closer and I’ll prove it to you with my claws.
The key to invisibility, little Luna, is to choose a surface that blends with your fur, install yourself on said surface, and stay preternaturally still.
See this blanket? It has black stripes for me and white and gray stripes for you. Now we are invisible.
Ummm, Uncle Darth? I think you may have forgotten that Woofies see through their sniffers.
–Darth Vader and Luna
No matter how many times we hiss and threaten the use of our diamond-cuttingly sharp claws, the biggest Woofie just doesn’t understand that it’s rude to hover over our high tea.
–Charlie, Luna, Darth Vader, and Lily