The Trouble with Gyms

The trouble with gyms is that you can end up waiting a super long time to use your favorite equipment.

Don’t even think about starting a conversation or advising the pretty Kitty gym members on proper weight-lifting technique or the right way to face on the treadmill.

At best, you’ll get a laser-like glare. At worst, you’ll get a hiss, some truly un-ladylike words, and a couple of new painful scratches on your handsome Canine nose.

–Cosmo

Treadmill Workouts

There’s more than one way to workout on a treadmill.

For example, you can use the console for a good stretch.

You can use the arms as a jungle gym to increase your strength and balance.

Don’t worry if you get tangled up now and again.

It takes time to master new fitness routines.

–Luna

Training Routine

Have you hit a performance plateau in your favorite sports of Fetch, Tug-of-War, Frisbee, Wrestling and Squirrel Chase?

You haven’t necessarily peaked–it may just be time to switch up your training routine.

Jump on your Humans’ treadmill or elliptical or stationary bike and crank it up.

Don’t worry–you won’t get in trouble. It’s not like your Humans actually use their home gym.

–Cosmo

Teachers

Good teachers must keep tabs on their pupils’ progress in order to identify their strengths, weaknesses, and set reasonable learning objectives.

For example, here is the Rookie Kitten’s interim progress report:

Paw-to-Paw Combat: Above Average

Sneak Pounce Attacks: Excellent (maybe too excellent)

Growth Rate and Energy Levels: Off the Charts

Facing the Right Way on the Treadmill: Needs Improvement 

Objective: Teach Rookie Kitten to face the right way on the treadmill. Turn the treadmill on HIGH. Take a well deserved nap.

Oh boy, I’ve got my paws full with this one.

–Drill Master Phelps