The Woofies are big enough, Humans, bigger than enough, too big, really, more equine than canine.
They’ve obviously had enough to eat. Why do you keep buying them more cans of wet food?
For the Love of Cat, how big do you want them to get?! Clydesdale-size??!!
Heading out on the town this fine Friday evening?
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don’t walk.
Bet you wish you could tuck your front paws so adorably, Humans!
Well, you can’t. Your phsyionomy doesn’t permit it and, even if it did, you need to be covered in silky, feline fur for this position to work.
Feel free to console yourselves by drinking in my adorableness.
Why merely sit when you can drape?
Rub my tummy? Please, Humans, rub my tummy!
Oooh! Thank you! That feels sooo good!
I’d purr if I could.
I may be orange, I may be round, but don’t you dare call me pumpkin.
–Orzo, Guest Contributor
As Cat Princesses, graceful relaxation is an important part of your royal duties.
How else will your sometimes stressed, uptight Human subjects recognize your superiority?
–Luna and Lily
I’ll admit that chilling out in an empty carton that used to contain canned Woofie food may not be the wisest option, particularly if the Woofies have not inhaled their evening feast yet.
That said, don’t think that I’m a trendy, Raw Food alternative to cans.
Get any closer and I’ll prove it to you with my claws.
Big sisters are the best! Sometimes it feels like they know you better than you know yourself and your secrets are always safe because you speak a special language, known only to the two of you.
Watch out, Woofie. Don’t get fresh with my Little Sis.
Frisbee, check. Tug, check. Wrestling, check. Squirrel Chase, check and double check.
You know it’s been a good, hard workout when you collapse like a Meowie afterwards.
Meowie-Inspired Basic Yoga, check.