The Woofies are big enough, Humans, bigger than enough, too big, really, more equine than canine.
They’ve obviously had enough to eat. Why do you keep buying them more cans of wet food?
For the Love of Cat, how big do you want them to get?! Clydesdale-size??!!
Choose your bachelor pad wisely. If you like a bit of action, don’t move too far out to the country–youthful Kittens will keep you young.
On the other paw, be sure that your pad is protected from the hurly-burly of the youngsters’ catnip-fueled disputes. Kittens may do fine with a mere 18 hours of sleep daily, but you require a minimum of 20 hours.
Most importantly, make sure that your pad is in close proximity to the best place in the house, i.e. the kitchen.
What a lovely, colorful salad bar you have set up for me, Human Mommy!
May I assume that a fine tuna entree will be forthcoming?
A Kitten cannot thrive on rose petals alone.
No matter how many times we hiss and threaten the use of our diamond-cuttingly sharp claws, the biggest Woofie just doesn’t understand that it’s rude to hover over our high tea.
–Charlie, Luna, Darth Vader, and Lily
What’s that, Human Mommy? This fine box is the same box that the Woofies’ canned food came in?
You don’t suppose they’ll get confused and think that I’m yummy, too, do you?
What do you mean we’re out of treats?
What are you doing with your opposable thumbs? Are you opening cans of stinky, gravy, meaty goodness out of guilt?
We may have jumped the gun. We love you, Humans, especially your thumbs.
You may stay on, on probation.
–Charlie, Luna, Lily and Amber
Even if you’re basically a meat and potatoes kind of guy, it’s still very important to get your greens.
Sometimes the Humans put out an unusually nice spread for you, the Cats.
Guacamole flavored chips, who knew?
Seriously, Humans, you’re holding up your cellphones and making kissy-kissy noises at me to get me to pose.
Don’t you see that I’m busy procuring breakfast…er…birdwatching?
Are your pre-dinner treats late in finding their way from their packet to your mouth to your tummy?
Meditate fiercely as Lions do.