Coordination

If you must share space with a Woofie, make sure that the Woofie’s fur complements your own.

And that she sits at least a tail-length behind you.

–Orzo, Guest Contributor

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Helping Out

Sure, Kitties, Humans are there to serve us. We all know that.

Still, you can demonstrate your magnamity by lending a helping paw when the Humans try, ineffectually, to perform routine household tasks, like changing the sheets on our bed.

Silly Humans! How on earth do they expect us Kitties to sleep soundly and awaken refreshed without a fine sheen of feline fur on our sheets?

–Luna

Ageless

Human Mommy, you spend ages in the bathroom in the morning, applying various creams, powders, and Cat-Knows-What to your huge, naked face, in a futile attempt to appear “younger.”

May I make a suggestion?

Just grow out your face fur to cover your wrinkles.

Seriously, look at me. I’m positively ageless.

–Amber