Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and ask for help.
Help, Human Mommy! The Millenial Meowie is swallowing my dinner!
What’s that? No, I can’t politely ask her to move.
The Millenial Meowie has murder mittens!
(Thanks to Samantha Murdoch for this wonderful description of Meowie paws. Check out samanthamurdochblog.)
Sure, Kitties, Humans are there to serve us. We all know that.
Still, you can demonstrate your magnamity by lending a helping paw when the Humans try, ineffectually, to perform routine household tasks, like changing the sheets on our bed.
Silly Humans! How on earth do they expect us Kitties to sleep soundly and awaken refreshed without a fine sheen of feline fur on our sheets?
Lost something, Humans, like the pair of scissors you just had?
Don’t ask us Cats. It’s not our job to keep track of your stuff.
Cats, help your Humans out with the housework by cleaning delicious scraps off of the stove top.