Chop chop!

Chop chop, Human Mommy! Put your opposable thumbs to use by opening this Jumbo-sized container of treats for me!

Don’t overextend yourself, though. Don’t bother parceling out a tiny portion for me.

I’m perfectly capable of serving myself once you’ve got the lid off.

–Darth Vader 

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Strange Question

No, you may not rest your gigantic head on my pillow, Human Mommy.

What a strange question!

Why would you even ask?

–Darth Vader

Coping with Monday 

Don’t feel bad about hitting the Lion’s Head Tavern a wee bit before noon. 

Don’t feel bad about squinting your eyes tight shut in order to imitate a leaf, or a loaf, or maybe a leaf loaf.

We all cope with Monday in our own way.

–Darth Vader and Finnegan, aka Leaf Loaf

Government Regulations

Please fetch me a fishing pole, Human Mommy.

What do you mean I need a fishing license to fish in my own private goldfish and Koi pond?!

Great, just great.

My breakfast plans are ruined due to nonsensical government regulations.

–Darth Vader