Bachelor Pad

Choose your bachelor pad wisely.  If you like a bit of action, don’t move too far out to the country–youthful Kittens will keep you young.

On the other paw, be sure that your pad is protected from the hurly-burly of the youngsters’ catnip-fueled disputes. Kittens may do fine with a mere 18 hours of sleep daily, but you require a minimum of 20 hours.

Most importantly, make sure that your pad is in close proximity to the best place in the house, i.e. the kitchen.

–Charlie

Treadmill Workouts

There’s more than one way to workout on a treadmill.

For example, you can use the console for a good stretch.

You can use the arms as a jungle gym to increase your strength and balance.

Don’t worry if you get tangled up now and again.

It takes time to master new fitness routines.

–Luna

Unrequited Love

It’s hard when the stripey, gray object of your affection is out of reach. 

She’s not physically out of reach, of course, as you could easily stretch out an enormous paw to caress her whiskers or, if you’re feeling bold, sit up on your hind paws and sink your great muzzle into her velvety flank to breath in a draught of kitten perfume.

“NO Cosmo! DOWN!” the Humans will cry.

“HISSSSSS!” your beloved will screech, while somehow simultaneously reminding you of the restraining order she has taken out against you in the most intimidatingly legalistic terms she can muster.

Who knows? You may even get a bloody nose. You’ll probably get a bloody nose. Kitten claws are sharp and you saw your dearest filing hers assiduously on the remains of the living room furniture just prior to claiming her current spot.

Sometimes it is best to love from afar.

–Cosmo