The uninitiated sometimes ask us Members about the activities and amenities available in our Private Members-Only Cat Club, sometimes erroneously referred to as the front porch.
Tennis? No, although we are not above chasing the occasional loose ball. Golf? No, ditto for the ball chasing. Swimming? No, seriously? We are CATS.
Basically, the Cat Club is all about lounging.
If you are not a Member, you may not understand.
–Phelps, Darth Vader, Quicksilver and Finnegan
Thank you, Humans, for installing this new couch in our private, members-only Cat club, sometimes erroneously referred to as a front porch.
What’s that, Humans? You want to sit on our couch?
No, you may not.
First, you are not members, membership is by invitation only and, even if we were to invite you, the club fees amount to more cans of tuna than you can afford.
Second, the only remaining cushion is reserved for our esteemed club member Quicksilver.
–Phelps and Darth
Your porch, Humans? We fear you are mistaken–this is a Members Only Cat Club.
Say what? You want to join?
We regret to inform you that membership is by invitation only and the fees are more tuna cans than you can afford.
–Finnegan, Darth Vader, and Phelps