Sorry not Sorry

“Age before beauty,” at least when it comes to the Drippy Faucet of Youth.

Unless you’re a Millennial Kitten. Then you’ll for sure try to cut in line.

–Lily and Charlie

I don’t want to be part of the narrative of waiting in line. Isn’t there an app where we can schedule our faucet time?

So I tried to cut. Sorry not sorry.



It’s essential to stay hydrated when temperatures soar.

Don’t drink out of the silly bowls the Humans provide for you. Drink exclusively from the drippy faucet of youth.

Seriously, it’s at least 9 times more hydrating than regular water.

Trust me.

Depending on the Google result you consult, I’m at least 80 years old.

I don’t look a day over 60, though, do I?


Bad Jokes

When you are taking your daily inventory of the foodstuffs, do your Humans tell you to get out of the refrigerator because “Kittens are best at room temperature?”

That’s a terrible, offensive joke, meriting many hisses.

As a pragmatist, though, you may do better to direct your Humans’ attention to the unopened pack of Canadian Bacon on the shelf above your right ear.